Short Stubby Candles
by raglek
Summary: slash, but no sex romantic angsty drama - Harry writes a letter to Draco ----- Continued in Short Stubby Candles - One Year Later


Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc

**Title:** Short Stubby Candles

**Author: **raglek

**Rating:** G

**Words:** 750

**Challenge:** none

**Warnings: **slash, but no sex, romantic angsty drama

**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of me. (grin) I am (unfortunately) in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise be it TV, movie or book media. No copyright infringement is intended. (I'm not getting paid for any of this, honest.)

**Beta:** none

**Author notes:** I had been thinking about this for a while, wanting to have one of them write a letter to the other, but couldn't really get the right feel for it. Then, last night it came to me and even though it was after midnight, I had to get up and start writing it because it wouldn't let me sleep until I wrote it down.

**Summary:** Harry writes a letter to Draco.

My beautiful love,

It's just after 3 am and I've just gotten home from work. As I sit here writing this, I can hear you breathing, see you sprawled out all over our big bed. I want so badly to join you, to wake you up with kisses and soft touches, to make love with you. But I'm afraid. I'm afraid that if I wake you, I'll see anger and hurt in your beautiful grey eyes. I'm even more afraid that I'll see resentment.

I missed our anniversary.

I didn't mean to miss it. I knew that it was yesterday and that you were counting on me being home in time for supper. I truly intended to be here. I had finished up some reports at work and was getting ready to leave, when we got an owl about a group of five Death Eaters terrorizing Muggles in Wales. I knew that I didn't have to go, there are many other Aurors who are capable of handling a job like that, but I couldn't not go either. I meant to let you know I'd be late, I really did, but the Minister came down to speak with me before I left, and time just got away from me. That seems to be happening a lot lately and I'm sorry for it.

I'm sorry for all of the missed meals and all of the missed functions and all of the missed times where it could have been just the two of us doing nothing more than be together. I'm sorry that I've made you feel like anything less than the most important part of my life, because you are. You are my center and I would be so very lost without you.

I'm also sorry for the fights. Since I started working evenings, we have so little time together anymore, and it seems like when we are together, all we do is fight. I hate that. I hate not seeing your smile and I hate not being able to reach out and touch you whenever I want for fear of you pulling away. I hate the things that I say; things designed only to hurt and I hate seeing the look of pain in your eyes when the words hit their mark. I'm not proud of myself for what I've said or done, but I just can't seem to break the cycle.

So that's what this letter is for. If I tried to tell you this face to face, I'm afraid that it would just dissolve into another shouting match and I don't want that. I want, no, I _need _to tell you how very sorry I am and I swear to you love, I will change. I just hope that you'll give me a chance to prove myself to you, to prove my love for you and the fact that I'll do anything for you. I hope it isn't too late. Please, Merlin, don't let it be too late.

Before I left work I wrote a letter to my boss telling him that after this week, I would no longer be available to work nights. He will probably have a screaming fit, but I don't care. If it comes down to it, I'll leave the Ministry. I know that McGonagall would be happy to have me come and teach at Hogwarts, so I would still be able to have a worthwhile job plus have time for you. Imagine, me working at Hogwarts, with the summer and most holidays free.

Merlin, Draco, you can't possibly know how sorry I was when I walked through the door and saw the table. It was set so beautifully, lace tablecloth, fine china, flowers and the candles. Short stubby candles. Candles that had been blown out when there was hardly anything left to them, blown out when it became obvious to you that I wasn't coming home. The sight of that hurt me more than I can possibly describe.

So I make this promise to you now, love. From this moment on, I will do everything I can to make sure that you know how much you mean to me. I will tell you how much I love you, show it in everyway I can, every day for the rest of our lives.

I promise, there will be no more short stubby candles.

All my love,

Harry


End file.
